Hot Takes


Audrey Houghton, Reporter

You were all probably there when the internet fought over the age old question: is water wet? When everyone started to pick a side and scientists weighed in, it actually happened to make some very fleshed out, intelligible arguments. At the end of the day, everyone has an unpopular opinion or two. If you’ve been challenged on it a lot, you’ve probably also got some good arguments to back it up. Wether or not you’re willing to voice it is a completely different question. I took to the halls of UHS to ask some controversial questions.. As unbiased as I could.

       I. Can you ask a genie for infinite wishes?

Of the students surveyed, 71.4% said no and 28.6% said yes.

This one is a classic. I’ll bet you that everyone who said no has watched Aladdin at least once.

      II. What about asking a genie for another genie?

Of the students surveyed, 57.1% said no and 42.9% said yes.

“I’d say thats probably allowed!” Ray Zoretich (10) told me despite saying you can’t ask a genie for more wishes. “I mean, it’s like a loophole in the genie law.” 

     III. Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck?

Of the students surveyed, 57.1% said duck sized horses and 42.9% said horse sized ducks.

¨100 duck sized horses,¨ Lydia Trumbull (12) told me. When I asked how they planned to defeat them, she said “Step on them? Or maybe I’d put them on my shoulder.” After all, befriending them is a way to win the battle. Raises the question though, could you befriend the horse-sized duck?

     IV. Which football is the real football: American Football or “Soccer”?

Of the students surveyed, 85.7% picked the soccer ball and 14.3% picked the american football. 

     V. How many holes does a straw have?

Of the students surveyed, 57.1% said two and 42.9% said one.

“It’s just one long hole,” Autumn Rabb (11) told me. The other interviewees quickly changed their answers when they heard that response, so hey, maybe none of the two-hole believers have heard the counter argument yet.

     VI. Are boneless chicken wings just chicken nuggets?

Of the students surveyed, 57.1% said yes and 42.9% said no.

“If you get them from wingstop, they have bones anyways.” One student told me. “I ordered boneless chicken wings.. They just gave me regular ones.”

“If you go to buffalo wild wings, they just give you chicken nuggets.” Joy Abijah (11) responded, proving the point accidentally. You could probably find the same thing off the menu in the kids section.

     VII. Is cereal soup?

Of the students surveyed, 85.7% said no and 14.3% said yes.

“Cereal is not considered a soup because.. Because I don’t like the idea of it.” Ray commented. I never said we had to have a soundproof argument to back it up… sometimes something just isn’t right. 

     VIII. Is a hotdog a sandwich?

Of the students surveyed, 71.4% said no and 28.6% said yes.

I once heard that a hotdog is a soft shelled taco, and I will never think of it the same way again.

     IX. What is the most useless word in the English language?

Most people actually said “moist” to this one. I’m starting to think they want it erased because of how ugly it sounds, not because of its uselessness. 

My favorite answer is zeitgeist- “The defining spirit or mood of a particular period of history as shown by the ideas and beliefs of the time”

     X. Does pineapple belong on Pizza?

Of the students surveyed, 57.1% said yes and 42.9% said no.

When I asked students about what the appeal of pineapple was, they mostly said it was sweet to contrast the savory.

“It’s the best flavor,” William Houghton (12) said.

     XI. Do you wet your toothbrush before or after the toothpaste?

Of the students surveyed, 71.4% said before, 14.3% said after, and 14.3% said both before and after

I was actually surprised when multiple students told me both.

“First you soften the bristles, then you put the toothpaste on, then you put the water on to activate the toothpaste.” Madison Mustafa (12).

    XII. Does the milk come before or after the cereal?

Of the students surveyed, 100% said after

It’s really no secret that some things are just a matter of opinion. It can be hard to admit, but a lot of questions don’t have a right answer.